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Episode IX in This Parody Trailer. Welp, Colin Treverrow definitely isn’t directing the ninth film in the Skywalker saga, leaving a gap that Lucasfilm has yet to fill. In the meantime, this fake trailer lets us imagine what wonderful, terrible film future could await us. Courtesy of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Werner Herzog’s name can be added to the list.

Colbert’s mock trailer, complete with morose, heavily accented voiceover, does a beautiful job of imagining what Herzog’s bleak take on the Star Wars universe would look like. Not that he’d ever do it, but, I mean, I can dream.)As the narrator intones: “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away—as far away as a mother’s affectionate glance or the cold touch of your sobbing lover—the evil First Order seeks control of the galaxy, forgetting that the galaxy itself is not but the infinite void. Watch The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Youtube here. This is the way of things.”Colbert here plays what has become, in the past few days, my favorite game. What are your most absurd, most inspired picks for Episode IX’s director?

I’m thinking Lars Von Trier. The film opens in the ruined space above the former Starkiller Base, and features Kylo Ren anxiously reflecting on his deep psychosexual trauma before the third Death Star destroys the planet he’s on.

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Come for the brooding, stay for the atmospheric, tragic sex between Finn and Poe. Uh. Anyway. You can watch the video below (the good part starts at 2: 3. You. Tube, via Entertainment Weekly].

The Nintendo Switch exists, and is a fantastic gaming system that you can, in a pinch, play in a bar, a car, or on the train. Phones exist too, and the games on them.